Last Updated on December 26, 2023 by Jason Harris
A central theme of Mormonism is to “Choose the Right.” That there is a “right and a wrong to every question.” I no longer believe life exists in such black and white paradigms. I believe the Buddhist concept of making skillful choices rather than framing things as “right and wrong choices” is often more useful and accurate to the nature of what life is really about much of the time. Still… the concept of making “right” (or skillful) choices I still think is very useful. It was engrained very deeply into me as a boy. I wore a “CTR” (Choose the Right) ring for years. And the concept that sometimes we must all walk by faith in the dark, only taking one step at a time… still rings true to me as well.
Our family recently watched Frozen II (again). Beautiful messages! Beautiful soundtrack! The song “The Next Right Thing” particularly resonated with me at this time in my life. Sometimes, all we can do is what the next “right” or skillful choice at the time is.
I believe if we live long enough, we ALL will face and experience “dark night of the soul moments” or times in our lives. I believe this was represented in one way when Jesus, feeling abandoned and alone cried out in anguish on the cross, “Father, where art thou!?”
I am currently within a period of the “dark night of the soul” myself for the past couple of years that is not my faith transition, though I experienced that as well during my faith transition. (And despite this, there has also simultaneously been light and joy during this time and that time as well, yes… contradictory and paradoxical, I know). I won’t talk about it more on this blog in any detail at this time other than to say the concept of “doing the next right thing,” “walking (in the dark) by faith” and “choosing the right” are powerful and beautiful concepts I learned as a Mormon that help carry me and give me great sustenance, one day at a time. I think these are universal truths that billions on our planet can relate to. This concept led me within Mormonism… and also led me out of Mormonism. And this concept still continues to lead me today.
Whether the choices and steps we are making are within our family or work, to stay in our faith (or not), to stay in a relationship (or not), how to carry on as a parent when things seem hopeless with our children, how to carry on after a death in the family, how to continue after a divorce, or how to continue to cope after our life has been left in tatters by violence, or war, or sickness, or any other number of things, etc… Sometimes as this song says, I believe the only guide we have in what can be very dark and lonely times in life is to just continue walking. One. Step. At. A. Time. To just “do the next right thing…”
I’m in tears as I write this. Beautiful truths represented in the faith of my childhood. And also represented other places like this beautiful and deep song.
I would encourage the reader to listen to this song. It is particularly relevant to those in the middle of a faith transition (whether that transition means staying in a reconstructed faith, leaving altogether, or something else). A beautiful song on part of what is needed to traverse the stages of grief.
I can relate to the pain that some of you may be experiencing. Keep walking… Just keep moving. There IS light and healing and peace on the other side of a faith transition, whatever that transition means for you. And it may be very different for you than me. We all have our own unique journey to walk.
Regardless of what that transition looks like for you, I believe walking in the dark to eventually reach that light IS a tremendous act of faith. In my own life, it was a far greater act of faith than anything I experienced while I was an active Mormon. If you are currently in the dark night of your own soul, please carry on! You can do this and will do this! You got this! One. Step. At. A. Time.
… I’ve seen dark before
But not like this
This is cold
This is empty
This is numb
The life I knew is over
The lights are out
Hello, darkness
I’m ready to succumb… I follow you around
I always have
But you’ve gone to a place I cannot find
This grief has a gravity
It pulls me down
But a tiny voice whispers in my mind
“You are lost, hope is gone
But you must go on
And do the next right thing”… Can there be a day beyond this night?
I don’t know anymore what is true
I can’t find my direction, I’m all alone
The only star that guided me was you
How to rise from the floor
When it’s not you I’m rising for?
Just do the next right thing
Take a step, step again
It is all that I can to do
The next right thing… I won’t look too far ahead
It’s too much for me to take
But break it down to this next breath
This next step
This next choice is one that I can make… So I’ll walk through this night
Frozen II, The Next Right Thing, Lyrics as cited on musixmatch.com
Stumbling blindly toward the light
And do the next right thing
And with the dawn, what comes then
When it’s clear that everything will never be the same again?
Then I’ll make the choice
To hear that voice
And do the next right thing
Jason Harris lived as an orthodox Mormon for forty years. He writes about his experiences leaving the Mormon Church and reconstructing a new World-View. He believes all religions and scripture are man-made, potentially helpful and harmful. He believes there is Divinity in all of them and everywhere.