Last Updated on June 24, 2022 by Jason Harris

Our daughter Emma has always been a poet. She was previously pursuing a political science degree at BYU and is finishing her degree at Texas A&M. It was particularly difficult for her when she first learned of my faith transition. However, she is in a much healthier place now. She wrote these poems reflecting different aspects of her experience from April, 2019 – Dec, 2019:

Waves

I drowned once.
Apart from solid ground;
I waded into the sea.
The current pulled me under;
Cold and unforgiving;
To choke me
First painful
Then numb.

I wanted to stay in the dark;
Away from the pain.
From the sun that I knew would never stay.
But the waves pulled me up
Laughing
Toward the glaring light.

I fought against them-
Clawing against nothing
And everything
As my tears became one
With the ocean .

Then I surfaced
Amongst the foam
With the fish glinting beneath that layer
Of ever-changing glass.
Far down below
Lies the unknown.
Where all the colors of the earth
Meet their mortal enemy.

The waves pull,
And this time,
I follow.

Emma wrote this poem shortly after President Nelson’s “Sad Heaven” talk April, 2019. Her poem was published in “The Mormon Therapist.” Emma tells me the waves symbolize her intuition and thoughts exploring new paradigms that initially were very scary for her.

Beyond Memory

They say wisdom comes with age,
But you are much smarter as a babe:
Before anyone told you
Who you should be
Or what to believe
Or what was important in life.

When you were younger,
Everyone was beautiful
As long as they had a kind heart.

Life was a wonder
And wonder was what life was all about
When you dreamed of nothing
But a gentle touch
A soft voice
And a full belly.

Your memory wasn’t good enough
To recall those who did you wrong.
Everyday was a new slate.

Until the world
Crawled into your mind
To force out everything
But rational order and control.

You can’t even imagine
What it is like to be free.

To Stand Alone

Beyond the mountains,
There is a valley of gold.
Believe me; I’ve seen it:
Meadows full of flowers
And rivers of grass,
With emerald trees
And dewdrops forged from diamonds.

The others don’t believe me.
I suppose it sounds absurd.
It seems crazy…
But I know I’m not.

If only they would come see,
But the trek they say
Is far too perilous.
They shake their heads
And tell me
Lying is a sin.

How could there be a world
Better than their own?

Emma Harris enjoys reading, dancing, and spending time with friends. Emma is attending Texas A&M, where she is pursuing a political science degree.